True power isn't about controlling everything — it's about choosing how you respond to anything.

She sat in my consultation room, her hand fully functional after surgery, yet her life felt completely out of control.

"Everything just happens to me," she said, voice heavy with resignation. "My job, my relationships, my health — I'm just along for the ride."

I recognized that tone. I'd heard it countless times, across all demographics and circumstances. The voice of learned helplessness. The belief that life is something that happens to you, not through you.

"May I ask you something?" I said. "Who chose your job?"

"Well, I did, but I needed money —"

"Who chose your relationships?"

"I mean, yes, but you don't understand how hard it is —"

"Who chose to come here today?"

Long pause. "I did."

That conversation was her first taste of a radical truth. You have more power than you realize. And you've always had it.

THE ILLUSION OF POWERLESSNESS

Most of us walk through life believing we're victims of circumstance — that our happiness, success, and wellbeing depend on external factors beyond our control.

We say:

• "I'd be happy if only they would change"
• "I'd pursue my dreams if only I had more time/money/support"
• "I'd feel confident if only I looked different/were smarter/had more experience"

The problem with these statements isn't that circumstances don't matter — they do. The problem is the word "only." As if external conditions hold the keys to your internal state.

They don't.

Viktor Frankl survived Nazi concentration camps and discovered: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

If someone in the ultimate nightmare of human existence could find choice, what does that say about our much smaller daily struggles?

It says you're more powerful than you've been taught to believe.

THE PRIME PRINCIPLE: EMPOWERMENT

Empowerment — the "E" in PRIME — is the practice of owning your choices, taking responsibility for your responses, and reclaiming agency over your life.

But let's clarify: Empowerment doesn't mean:

• You caused everything that happens to you
• You should handle everything alone
• Asking for help is weakness
• You're at fault when bad things happen

Empowerment means: Regardless of what happens, you get to choose what you do with it.

Think of empowerment as the difference between:

• "This happened TO me" (victim stance)
• "This happened, and here's what I'm choosing to do about it" (empowered stance)

Same circumstances. Radically different relationship to them.

I've seen this in my medical practice thousands of times. Two patients, identical injuries, identical treatment. One sees themselves as broken, powerless, at the mercy of fate. The other sees themselves as healing, capable, actively participating in recovery.

Guess who heals faster? Guess who experiences less pain? Guess who returns to full function more completely?

Every. Single. Time. The empowered patient.

Not because they're stronger or tougher. Because they've claimed their power to choose their relationship with what's happening.

CLAIMING YOUR POWER

Step 1: Audit Your Language

Your language reveals your relationship with power.

For one week, notice when you say:

• "I have to..."
• "I can't..."
• "They made me..."
• "I had no choice..."
• "If only..."

Each time, pause and reframe:

• "I have to" → "I'm choosing to"
• "I can't" → "I'm not willing to" or "I haven't figured out how yet"
• "They made me" → "I allowed" or "I responded by"
• "I had no choice" → "I chose the best option I could see at the time"
• "If only" → "What can I do now?"

This isn't semantic game-playing. Language shapes thought. Thought shapes belief. Belief shapes action.

When you change your language, you reclaim your power.

One of my patients transformed her life by simply changing "I have to go to this job I hate" to "I'm choosing to work here while I prepare my next move." Same job. Different relationship to it. That shift opened space for her to actually plan her exit instead of feeling trapped.

Step 2: Practice Radical Responsibility

This is where most people resist. Radical responsibility means: I am responsible for my experience of life, regardless of circumstances.

Notice: You're not responsible for what happens. You're responsible for what you do with what happens.

Try this practice: For 30 days, regardless of what occurs, ask yourself: "What is my response-ability here? What power do I have in this situation, even if it's only the power to choose my attitude?"

When someone cuts you off in traffic, you can't control their driving. You can control your response.

When your boss is unreasonable, you can't control them. You can control whether you stay, speak up, document for HR, or plan your exit.

When illness strikes, you can't always control outcomes. You can control how you show up for treatment, what you focus on, who you surround yourself with.

This is your power. Always available. Never taken away.

Step 3: Build Your Empowerment Toolkit

Empowered people aren't born that way. They've systematically built capacity through practices and skills.

Your empowerment toolkit should include:

Decision-making frameworks: When facing choices, what process helps you choose wisely? (Values alignment? Pros-cons? Future-self consultation?)

Boundary-setting skills: Can you say no clearly and kindly? Can you communicate your limits? Do you know what those limits are?

Self-advocacy practices: Can you ask for what you need? Can you speak up when something's wrong? Can you negotiate on your own behalf?

Emotional regulation techniques: When overwhelmed, what brings you back to center? (Breathing? Movement? Grounding? Self-talk?)

Support systems: Who lifts you up? Who reminds you of your power when you forget? Who models empowerment?

Identify gaps in your toolkit. Systematically develop missing skills. Empowerment is built, not bestowed.

Step 4: Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Most of us carry unconscious beliefs that drain our power:

• "I'm not smart/talented/worthy enough"
• "People like me don't get to do that"
• "I always fail at this"
• "It's too late for me"
• "I don't deserve it"

These beliefs masquerade as truth. They're not. They're stories you've been telling yourself so long you forgot they're stories.

Try this: Write your most limiting belief at the top of a page.

Then write: "What if the opposite were true?"

Explore that. What evidence supports the opposite? What would become possible? How would you live differently?

You don't have to believe the opposite immediately. Just create space for possibility.

One patient believed "I'm bad with money." This belief became a self-fulfilling prophecy. When she questioned it and experimented with "What if I'm capable of learning about money?" everything shifted. Not overnight — but steadily, as she claimed power she'd been giving away.

Step 5: Take Aligned Action

Empowerment without action is just philosophy. The practice comes in actually making choices that align with your values, even when they're hard.

Each week, identify one area where you're giving away power:

• Staying in situations that drain you
• Tolerating disrespect
• Not speaking your truth
• Putting everyone else's needs first
• Avoiding important decisions

Then take one small action to reclaim power:

• Have the difficult conversation
• Set the boundary
• Make the decision
• Ask for what you need
• Say no to what depletes you

Start small. Empowerment builds momentum. One aligned choice makes the next one easier.

THE NEUROSCIENCE OF AGENCY

Brain research shows that perceived control — the belief that you have agency — significantly impacts:

Stress response: People with a high sense of agency show lower cortisol levels in stressful situations. Same stress, different biological response.

Motivation: The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) lights up when we feel we have choices. This activates motivation and goal-pursuit.

Learning: We learn better when we believe we can influence outcomes. Learned helplessness literally shuts down learning centers.

Health: Studies show patients who feel empowered in their healthcare experience better outcomes, less pain, faster healing, and higher satisfaction.

Your brain literally functions differently when you feel empowered versus powerless. And here's the remarkable part: You can shift this by changing how you relate to circumstances.

Neuroplasticity means your brain rewires based on repeated thoughts and behaviors. Every time you choose empowered response over victim response, you strengthen neural pathways associated with agency, confidence, and resilience.

You're training your brain to default to power, not powerlessness.

INTEGRATION: DAILY EMPOWERMENT PRACTICE

Morning Empowerment (3 minutes): Before your day begins, ask:

• What am I choosing today?
• Where do I have power I'm not using?
• What's one aligned action I can take?

Midday Power Check (1 minute): Pause and ask: "Am I in victim mode or empowered mode right now?" In victim mode, what's one thing you can control at this moment?

Evening Reflection (2 minutes): Review: When did I claim my power today? When did I give it away? What will I do differently tomorrow?

Track this. Notice patterns. Celebrate wins.

You Are More Powerful Than You Know

That patient who felt powerless? She started with language shifts. Then small decisions. Then bigger ones. Within a year, she'd changed jobs, ended a toxic relationship, started a side business, and fundamentally transformed her health.

Same circumstances at the start. Different choices throughout.

She didn't wait for circumstances to empower her. She empowered herself within whatever circumstances existed.

This is available to you too.

You're not powerless. You've never been powerless. You've just been taught to give your power away — to circumstances, to other people, to fear, to old stories.

Take it back.

Not with aggression or force. With clarity and choice.

Your life is made of moments, and in each moment, you have options. Maybe not unlimited options. Maybe not easy options. But options nonetheless.

That's your power. And nobody can take it from you unless you give it away.

Will you keep giving it away? Or will you claim it, own it, use it to build the life you actually want to live?

The choice, as always, is yours.

And that's the point.

YOUR NEXT STEP

Identify one area where you feel powerless. Now complete this sentence 10 times: "In this situation, I have the power to _____." You might surprise yourself with what you discover.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

When did you reclaim power in a situation where you felt helpless?

Share your story — it might empower someone else.

RELATED READING

• Purpose-Driven Living: Empowerment with Direction
• The Resilience Factor: Power Through Adversity
• Mindfulness: The Foundation of Conscious Choice

ABOUT DR. BASURAJ VASTRAD

Dr. Vastrad is a Physician-Philosopher,  Orthopaedic hand-micro surgeon, Author, International Speaker and creator of the Prime Quality of Life and Lifestyles Ecosystem and Framework. 

He helps individuals worldwide to discover Prime Purpose, build resilience, and create lives of meaning through his books, e-magazines,  talks, interactions, communities, mastermind groups and masterheart groups.

Learn more at https://primequalityoflife.com/ |  https://drbasuraj.komi.io 

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